I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
