Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
