dude i'm inner monologue high
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
