If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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