I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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