i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
