and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
