the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
