You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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