You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize