im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
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Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
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I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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