Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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