Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
