I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
