I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
