He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
