I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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