Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
