I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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