Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
