the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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