the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
