Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
