What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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