Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize