he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize