I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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