If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day