I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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