Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
