She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
