what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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