at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
