The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
