and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
