and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
