It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
