Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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