Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
