I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
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Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
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You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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