Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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