how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
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my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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