Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
