Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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