eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
