There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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