did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
