Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
