I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize