I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
