I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
