it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
