i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
