I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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