Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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