She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
