I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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