He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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