I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
please come you make the beer taste better
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
