Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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