then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize
